Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Who Do You Want To See?

We laid my grandmother to rest yesterday... and I awoke thinking about heaven...my Father...my grandmother.... those who have passed before me.

And I kept thinking of this passage of scripture...

Psalm 27:8  Your face, LORD, I will seek.

Sure I want to see my loved ones..but really....


my earthly father and I are very close. He loves me, he protects me, he gives me Christian concil and he has been my biggest supporter.

I can only imagine what love will overflow from my heavenly father...I just can not fathom it.

I have been blessed with a great dad. For that I am eternally grateful.... because his love for me has shown me just a glimpse of the love God has for me.

And so, when I pass from this life into Glory.. the very FIRST person I want to see is my heavenly father.........
Isaiah 46:3-4 (New Living Translation) 3 all you who remain in Israel. I have cared for you since you were born. Yes, I carried you before you were born. 4 I will be your God throughout your lifetime— until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Aftermath of Christmas

The feelings of excitement and anticipation seem to quickly fade after Christmas. After the gifts are opened, the meal is eaten and the love expressed.....life returns to normal....
I'd rather my normal be filled with excitement, anticipation, and love every day of my life..not just on Christmas.

How can I accomplish this?

As I did during the holidays...thinking of others, sharing, and spending time with family and friends.

Most importantly, being grateful for my Savior. Remembering the source of all hope... Jesus Christ.

God has blessed me so much throughout my life. I have had bad situations as well, but when I focus on the negative I'm stealing my own joy. when I focus on the positive, and acknowledge them as blessings, I have peace, hope and joy.

Not to say that maintaining a positive attitude is easy, because it is not...some days it just seems impossible.

But, when I talk to God, when I read his Word...I change. My heart changes. My attitude changes.
I can't change the nature I was born with without Christ. Will I be negative, sure...I'm human. Will I be sad, sure I'm human..

But:.......I know who to look towards to help me through those times.

As Christmas ends, and the New Year begins, I am challenging myself to be more focused on Christ, others and the positive...and cast negativity aside. This is my challenge to myself...but I hope its affects are far reaching.

2 Timothy 1:7
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

I Believe in Prayer

Do you believe in prayer?

Jesus said, “This is how you should pray:

“Father, may your name be kept holy.

May your Kingdom come soon.

3 Give us each day the food we need,

4 and forgive us our sins,

as we forgive those who sin against us.

And don’t let us yield to temptation.
5 Then, teaching them more about prayer, he used this story: “Suppose you went to a friend’s house at midnight, wanting to borrow three loaves of bread. You say to him, 6 ‘A friend of mine has just arrived for a visit, and I have nothing for him to eat.’ 7 And suppose he calls out from his bedroom, ‘Don’t bother me. The door is locked for the night, and my family and I are all in bed. I can’t help you.’ 8 But I tell you this—though he won’t do it for friendship’s sake, if you keep knocking long enough, he will get up and give you whatever you need because of your shameless persistence. 9 “And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. Luke 11:1-10

I do.... 
Merry Christmas!!!

Friday, December 10, 2010

What am I afraid of?

Am I really being REAL???? 
I read this post by a fellow blogger from People of the Second Chance                     
                      and it made me think...

Yep, I am sharing my story, but am I sharing it all???

Can my story make more of an impact if I share the total failure, the ultimate mistakes, the underlying intents I keep hidden?

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus....

Praise GOD! His GRACE is MERCIFUL to the SINNER .....

......(in all of us).

If I measured my faith, my love, my devotion, by human standards....well, I am sure I would fall very, very short or the mark.
But humanity is not the measuring stick.

Romans 2:6 God “will repay each person according to what they have done"

See, I was once one of those... judgmental, holier than thou church-going Christians. I was looking real good ........to myself. I could spot the faults of others a mile away! Oh, and I loved to make them feel guilty for it as well. I would say, "I'll be praying for you." knowing full well that after I left the church service (and the eyes of those I was attempting to impress) I would no further pray or even think about the person I just saw. My mind was all about being SEEN as a perfect little Christian. When in fact, I was thinking about where we were going to eat lunch.

It wasn't until God took me to a place of   brokenness ........that God was able to reveal HIMSELF to me as He revealed MYSELF (mercifully) to me.

God has to show me the very core of who I am (human, sinful, imperfect)......so he could show me WHO HE IS (righteous, holy, perfect)!

It was at that moment, GOD gave me what I needed.......


Romans 5:18 "Well then, as one man's trespass [one man's false step and falling away led] to condemnation for all men, so one Man's act of righteousness [leads] to acquittal and right standing with God and life for all men."

Because of Adam there is SIN........ Because of CHRIST there is ATONEMENT!


I have heard that preached over and over and it did not mean to me THEN.................what is does NOW.

 "For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life."ROMANS 5:10 

If you have read much of any thing I have blogged about then bless you for sharing in a journey with me of God's GRACE over the past year in my life. It has been an amazing ride. One that I can say.....has been very needed and has been worth it in the end.........because I have a closer relationship with Christ.

Let me share these verses I have been studying with you.....

"Not only so, but wec also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. 6You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. 8But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

I am just beginning to get it now........ what Christ has done for me (for us all)...... Sinners saved by GRACE.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Being Blessed

I am blessed. I know this because this morning,.............. I awoke.

I have all my fingers and my toes.
My health, my family, my friends, my pets......
God has truly blessed me.
This morning my heart is full. I am so thankful for the love that fills me.
I am happy. I am content. I am at peace.

Because of what CHRIST has done for me. I am blessed.

I hope you feel blessed too.
“But blessed are those who trust in the Lord
and have made the Lord their hope and confidence."
Jeremiah 17:7 (New Living Translation)

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Celebrating Life in the Middle!

This week, I will be celebrating my birthday~ Yeah, me!
I received an email from my sweet friend that had a list written by a 90 year old lady who wrote 45 life lessons she has learned over the years..... got me to thinking about my own life lessons.
 " If you regret your past and then; try to deny it, it called depression. If you regret your past and then; try to forgive it, it called a lesson." @AmandaAdriani on Twitter

So, here's my list of my life lessons.....
1. Smile more, it brightens every one's day...including yours.
2. When you are alone in your car, spend time with God.
3.Listening is the key to communication.
4.Choose friends who are make you laugh.
5.Tell your family you love them often.
6.Take a bubble bath in a bathroom filled with candles.
7. Do an act of kindness for someone else.
8. Drive the speed limit (just saying)
9.Read the Bible daily.
10. Be respectful to your parents.
11. If you really don't want to do something, It's okay to say, "No." 
12. Be good to yourself, but not at the cost of neglecting others.
13. Write it down, before you forget.
14. Reading glasses look cool. (and have become a necessity)
15. Be techno savvy, it helps in communicating with your kids.
16. Get to know new people.
17. Find new interests and hobbies that stimulate your mind.
18. Make your favorite dessert from time to time.
19. Do something nice for yourself once a week.
20. Watch more sunrises and sunsets.
21. Spend time with your pets.
22. Sing with the radio.
23. If you are too tired to cook or clean, don't.
24. Accept your own imperfections.
25. Forgive yourself and others.
26. Be kind.
27. Believe in a better day tomorrow.
28. Be grateful and generous
29. Let your children learn from their own mistakes.
30. If it's too good to be true.... beware.
31. Know that what you do, affects others.
32. Get to know your grandparents.
33. Go through photos of your life and your family
34. Always wear a seat belt and don't text and drive.
35. Take time to vacation with your children, they'll be gone soon enough.
36. Create special holiday traditions.
37. Don't pick your nose (even if you think no one is looking, use a tissue)
38.  Pass positivity down to your children, not negativity.
39.  Think before you speak.
40.  Time does heal
41. Encourage the next generation to come, that they will be the ones to make a difference in this world.
42. Trust God
43. Dream, make plans, set goals.
44. Don't believe everything you hear.
45. Be brave, courageous, and loyal.

Well, that's my list.... I could probably go on, but I tend to get silly when I get tired....so let me leave you with this one..... (just for fun)

46. Murphy's law will, of course, apply to numbers 1- 45 above. :)

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Damaged goods....

For years I blamed myself for the abuse. For years I held in the pain. For years I wanted to feel "normal." For years I longed to be loved. For years I wanted someone to protect me. You want to know what being abused does to someone............................... really? It creates in them a mindset that "I am not worthy of love" that I am here for to be USED and mistreated. That my feelings don't mean anything..........because I don't matter. When you are abused by someone who is suppose to LOVE and PROTECT you............... it does major damage. I held in my little "secret" for years. WHY? because the person I SHOULD HAVE BEEN TOTALLY ABLE TO TRUST told me to me to "keep it a secret" DON'T TELL ANYONE or YOU will get in trouble. As an adult, I just want to hold that little girl and tell her........."Honey, it is not your fault!"  It never was! I kept that secret from my own mother and father for over 35 years. I held inside my heart: a major life event, a trama, an unspeakable injustice, for YEARS. Do you know what it is to feel like to be "damaged goods?"  That sex is for someone else's pleasure, not your own. To feel that no MAN can ever really love you? That no MAN will ever protect you? That YOU are totally on your own in this world? because..................YOU ARE NOT WORTH LOVING! The HURT that still resides in my heart over the decisions I have made in my life because I have felt....................................unloved. The way I accept unkindness, hateful, disrespectful, unloving behavior is totally...............wrong.

By the BLESSED LOVE OF CHRIST JESUS, I am healing. God is healing me................bit by broken bit. When I stand before HIM I really hope HE tells me WHY.......... I just want to know...................................... I want to be able to KNOW what real love is.......... I want to be protected. I want to be cherished......................really cherished just because I was created. I want to have that "normal", or what seems to be normal...........because I don't know that I will ever really understand what "NORMAL" looks like, feels like. I know God is the healer.......... . I know God loves me.......... Because, I have begged God to take me home to Glory more times than I can count.  It isn't that I am ungrateful for "life" , it is because I KNOW THERE IS FREEDOM from the PAIN.  That day when we move from this life.....we will move into.....REAL LIFE!

My favorite verse is Proverbs 31:25 "She is clothed with strength and dignity, and laughs with no fear of the future" I am ready to laugh!
So......... why am I sharing this all NOW? Because I know comfort, hope and healing.  That something good can come from something evil.
If you have held in a "secret" that was to protect someone else, it is harmful not only to you, but to them.  People who really love you, don't treat you in private differently than they do in public. If someone is abusing you.............. TELL SOMEONE! Get help! Get into church and get into God's word. Only HE can save you. Only Christ's love can heal your brokenness. Only Christ can give you the LOVE you will need to FORGIVE. Because YOU CAN FEEL LOVED...... by CHRIST! You can feel worthy. You can feel cherished. You can feel protected. If God can carry me through my journey, HE can take you through yours too! YOU ARE LOVED! YOU ARE LOVED! YOU ARE LOVED! because......................GOD IS LOVE!

Patriots close season with winning streak - The Dispatch

Patriots close season with winning streak - The Dispatch

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Serena Woods

Being a Teen's Mom...

I won't do everything right. I will make mistakes. I will do and say the wrong thing, at the wrong times, in the wrong way.....  not because I am not trying.............. It is because I am learning.

Learning to be a mom of a baby was easy for me. I kissed and cuddled and rocked.... and loved my precious child.

Learning to be a mom of a toddler was easy too. I chased after, read to, colored with, and made more messes than I ever have in my whole life, and enjoyed every single moment of it.

Learning to be a mom of a grade school(er) was easy. I taxied from birthdays to sports to family outings. I cheered for at games. I helped with homework and packed those many lunches.

Learning to be a mom of a teenager ........... isn't easy. For either of us. Now, my actions take on different meanings for us.

To me I am supporting, to my child I am interfering.
To me I am spending quality time, to my child I am being nosy.
To me I am talking about the important issues (sex, drugs, and Satan), to my child I am lecturing.
To me I am loving, to my child I am smothering.

I know my son hears me. I just wonder if he listens.........

I am ready to set my child free in the world. (really, I am).

I believe children learn through our actions more than our words. My life is my legacy. My actions are forever ingrained in his mind. My words have hurt or healed. My love is unselfish or self serving.

As my son gets ready to enter into "his own" world...... I know my biggest power over his life now is PRAYER. I have prayed over my son for years, but never - ever like I have and during his young adult life. I know my son is saved, and that gives me insurmountable peace.

So, as I pray for guidance through these last months together..... I pray for wisdom, patience, mercy, grace and endurance for us both. We have a unique bond, us two.  Parent and child, Mother and son,  Friend and friend.

"Train up a child in the way he should go,

Even when he is old he will not depart from it."

Proverbs 22:6 (New American Standard Bible)

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The Nature of the Beast....

When an animal is cornered, it's natural response is to bite back. Sometimes, mine is too. I want to lash out when attacked. I want to scream............yell.............say unkind things............

The BEAST rears it's ugly head...............  and it's not a pretty sight.

I have really had to learn to control my reactions. I do fairly well with my actions, it is my "reactions" that I have to really watch.

How I respond is a reflection of my inner spirit. I want my spirit to reflect kindness, love, concern for others, care, self-control, patience, temperance, empathy, and so many more.  I want to look back at my "reactions" and not have any regrets.

This has only been possible for me since my renewed relationship with Christ. I am just so amazed at the way I have changed when dealing with unpleasant situations or even unpleasant people. 

All I know is that LOVE made the difference. When God entered my heart and really began filling me with his love, it pushed aside the hate, the bitterness, the resentment towards others.  Even when my first gut reaction was not kind, it just wouldn't come out! I use to be a great rant and raver. Now, I have a quiet heart.  I think before I act. I pray before I react.

I did not make this difference in my life because I wanted to be loving towards others, Christ did. Only through him was my transformation possible.

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me."Psalms 51:10 

Monday, October 11, 2010

Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone)

Oh the POWER of this song. This morning as I was driving to work this song came on and I just began to cry......How beautiful to know that God's grace is ever present. God is alive. God is the answer.

"Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)"

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine
You are forever mine

When I leave this earth, I want those who loved me to know, I am in the presence of the Lord, my Father, my Maker, my EVERYTHING.

John 14:1-7
“Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. 2 There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? 3 When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am. 4 And you know the way to where I am going.”

5 “No, we don’t know, Lord,” Thomas said. “We have no idea where you are going, so how can we know the way?”6 Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me. 7 If you had really known me, you would know who my Father is.[c] From now on, you do know him and have seen him!”

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Accepting my imperfections....it ain't easy

I wish I were sinless. But I'm not.
 Deep down I want to be. Then I can look better than someone else. What is that called? Oh, YEAH.....Judgemental? Oh how I love to serve up a healthly amount of self-righteousness...... so I can feel better about "my sins"  (you know, because mine aren't as bad.....)  Ever think that?

I am reminded of the scripture....Matthew 7:4-6 (New Living Translation)

4 How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.

Well, I need to have some tree removal done.

 Thank GOD, for HIS forgiveness.... HIS mercy and HIS grace..... HIS LOVE!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010


3 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. 4 And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. 5 And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. Romans 5:3-5 (New Living Translation)

I have spent years worrying over what others think of me. I have spent countless amounts of energy trying to please people. I have bent over backwards, just so I would not offend someone. And when it comes down to it........... nothing has been gained.

Character as defined by Dictionary.com: the aggregate (is a collection of items that are gathered together to form a total quantity)of features (is a distinct property)  and traits ( a distinguishing characteristic or quality, esp. of one's personal nature) that form the individual nature of some person or thing.

How then is my character developed?

....................................................................... over time.

In education, we talk about building character based on the SIX Pillars:


How does my character "stack" up?  hmmmm.....

Let's look at the opposites:
Disregards others

If I want to build my character, it must begin with ME. I choose my actions and my reactions. I choose to work on my character or not. I choose to be one way or the other.... it is all my choice.  I will take ownership of my own character.... not based on other's opinions of me, but of my own opinion of myself.   

lastly..... I had to put this in... because even I get the two confused from time to time.....

"Often people confuse reputation with character. Reputation put simply is what people think you are and character is what you truly are."- Jack Martin

Sunday, September 19, 2010

When life hurts...

Never misunderstand pain as permission to forego the will of God.- Beth Moore

I can testify that life is not always easy. I have loved and lost. I have been burdened. I have waited on the Lord to answer pray. I have been deceived, disappointed, used and misunderstood.

Even when we don't understand the "why" behind the pain now..... God's glory will be worth it in the end.

For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time [are] not worthy [to be compared] with the glory which shall be revealed in us. Romans 8:18

In loving memory of Spencer Perkins

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Through Text and Facebook, the masses came to pray!

This past Sunday, a 17 yr. old young man was critically injured as a result of a freak hunting accident. He is a junior where my son attends high school. He is fighting for his life. His family is hurting now more than ever as they wait for news of his condition every moment,

every hour,

every second.....

waiting..... longing..... not knowing..... hoping...... praying.........

Within 2 hours of the news spreading about this tragedy, students, parents, friends, facebook buddies, and families began spreading the word to pray. Through this spreading of the word, a prayer vigil was set-up and within an hour the gym at the school was packed. Students had to stand along the walls and in the doorway, because there wasn't a seat left.

We hear a lot about how technology is destroying children, individuals, and families, but I can tell  you personally that I was never so proud to be a "techno-geek" Sunday night. Word spread like wildfire of the prayer vigil. Students and parents posted prayer request for this precious child on Facebook and by text.

Prayer works. I believe that.

Today, we lift up this child, this son, this brother, this friend to the only true healer, our LORD GOD. We ask that God's healing, comfort, and love be felt by him and his family and friends.

How Great is Our God,
sing with me,
How Great is Our God,
and all will see,
How Great, How Great is Our GOD.

* this chorus was sung at the prayer vigil Sunday night for Spencer Perkins............

Friday, September 10, 2010

Speak to ME

Sometimes I just want to talk.......about anything. I just love interacting with others.

Communication is very important to me. It makes me feel connected to those around me. It grows relationships. Communicaton is necessary to understand another's point of view. It is the key to learning about others. Talking with someone, helps me understand myself. Maybe it is just me, or maybe it is a "girl" thing, but spending time talking with someone....... well... it just makes me smile.

God wants to talk with me too. When I was first saved, I thought God was there to hear my prayers and my petitions. But, there is so much more to it. A real relationship with God involved both HIM and me. I had to let God speak to me. God does this through his WORD. The Bible is how God communicates with us. By spending time reading and meditating in His word, I begin to "hear" Him speak to me.

Then he added, “Son of man, let all my words sink deep into your own heart first. Listen to them carefully for yourself. Ezekiel 3:10 (New Living Translation)


Thursday, September 2, 2010


I just love the Food Network show "CHOPPED"

In this show, chefs are given 4 secret ingredients (some are down right nasty) and they have to use them all in an impressive, edible dish.

As these contestants compete, they are one by one "chopped" if their dish is the least appetizing. Leaving only one winner in the end.

I am so glad that my Lord doesn't CHOP me.... even when my "ingredients are nasty, mean, ...even sinful.

Instead of "chopped" our Master, refines, tests, renews, restores....... into a better, finer, more purposeful person.....

We get second, third, fourth, etc.... chances to be better each time. We don't get eliminated (chopped).

Instead we get MERCY and GRACE....

"Let us therefore draw near with boldness unto the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy, and may find grace to help us in time of need." Hebrews 4:16

Sunday, August 29, 2010

What Kind of Shepherd are You?

"What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost. Matthew 18:12- 14

This was the scripture that my pastor spoke on today.  It touched me in a very deep way. He pointed out that if we are to be caring, loving, Christ-like Christians, and know that one of our brothers or sister has gone astray, do we really CARE enough to go find them?

My prayer is that GOD speaks to the hearts of my church and opens the eyes of us sitting there Sunday after Sunday thinking about how great we are for "showing up" when we know there are empty seats where our fellow believers once sat.

What have I done to reach out? Do I really care enough about the life of another to "get involved" and love them back into our arms.  Christ would.  Yet, we do nothing. We are passive. We are satisfied with our own salvation. I wonder what God would say to us when we stand at the Pearly Gate. Will He say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant" or "Why did you leave your brother behind?

Is it just okay that you are saved? Is that what being a Christian is all about? Or is it about telling others of God's love!
Even in our failures. Even in our sorrow. Even in our sin.
God's love is every lasting.

Romans 8:38 (New International Version)

 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[b] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

What Kind of shepherd are you?

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

In His Presence...

When was the last time you felt the presence of God?

God has spoken to my heart many times. I have been so blessed to have "heard" that still small (but powerful) voice. I know when HE speaks to me. But..... day to day, do I really feel God's presence? 

I began to really ponder this............. 
Is being a child of the Kingdom of God suppose to be an emotionally charged state? Or is it really an unexpected peace in the midst of the storm, a friend who calls at just the right time, a beautiful dawn that breaks over the horizon when you were feeling sad or lonely, a song that comes on the radio that speaks to your circumstance.....

Isn't God omnipresent? Isn't HE Always there....

Be strong, courageous, and firm; fear not nor be in terror before them, for it is the Lord your God Who goes with you;
He will not fail you or forsake you.
Deuteronomy 31:6 (Amplified Bible)

5Let your character or moral disposition be free from love of money [including greed, avarice, lust, and craving for earthly possessions] and be satisfied with your present [circumstances and with what you have]; for He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you, nor give you up, nor leave you without support. [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless
nor forsake nor [let you] down (relax My hold on you)! Assuredly not!
Hebrews 13:5 (Amplified Bible)

Whether "we" feel God's presence is ultimately UP TO US.   He doesn't MOVE.... we do.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Eat, Pray, Love

I was thinking about the new Movie out, "Eat, Pray, Love" and this past Sunday a speaker spoke of these things, but with a twist...

Eat= eat the Bible.   Be "filled" with God's word. Be hungry for it. Be nourished by it's truths.

Pray= It is the only way to communicate with God. I heard it once stated this way:

Think of ACTS
     A= affirm God's power and presence.
     C= confess sins
     T= thanksgiving, and praise
     S= pray for others and Self

Seemed like a great way to pray to me! I have prayed "ACTS" everyday since learning about it. And not only am I more focused on my prayers, I have more time to pray....because it comes natural. I am not trying to "think about what or who or whatever I need to pray about/for.... I just follow the steps of ACTS and begin.

Love= God's love is perfect.  When we align ourselves with Christ, He gives us the power to love.

This speaker also included Fellowship with believers. If you don't spend time with God's people, you can not know the fullness of his love. We need each other to lift us up and to hold us accountable. It is a bond that Christ formed here on this very earth..... when he called his people, "the church."

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Real love.....endures!

"Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."
1 Cornithians 13:7

Most people believe that if they are SAVED, then life will be a bowl full of cherries.....but
Christ's own life here on earth was not without heartache, trials, suffering.....

What stood out to me today in my devotional time was this.....


When I looked up the definition of ENDURE, here is what I found:
1. : to undergo (as a hardship) especially without giving in : suffer
2 : to remain firm under suffering or misfortune without yielding

You notice the same thing I did....................  suffering?

I can tell you from all my relationships, that LOVE is not without suffering. You can not love and not feel pain, hurt, loss, disappointment..... It just isn't possible.

When HALLMARK began writing LOVE cards.... I bet they never thought about the meaning behind the words written by the Apostle Paul... "endure".....

Love, we are told in the main stream media, is easy, fun, sexy, and enjoyable.  I don't remember LOVE being portrayed as suffering. Do you?

Not that LOVE is not without priceless times of pure JOY! But, real love, true love, can take hit after hit and always comes back "giving" more than taking.

REAL LOVE..... Love that flows through you only through a personal relationship with Christ our Saviour, is filled with the fullness of  love for our Heavenly Father....

 "When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now. In so far as I learn to love my earthly dearest at the expense of God and instead of God, I shall be moving towards the state in which I shall not love my earthly dearest at all. When first things are put first, second things are not suppressed but increased."   C. S. Lewis

Love is God. Love comes from God. Love is an action that put us in direct obedience to God.

"Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails...But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love."
1 Corinthians 13:4-7

WOW.... I have a long ways to go to be PERFECT in love, but oh how I am trying. I believe God sees our efforts to endure anything that comes our way. Think of the life Christ....

He died for us, while we were yet sinners............ now, that is LOVE.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

New Beginnings

I just love new beginnings! Each year when school starts to roll around again, I get so excited. I love seeing my colleagues/friends and students (past and present). It is rejuvenating to my very soul!

I am so blessed that I love my job. Because for me, it is not a job, but a calling. I recall the very moment I heard God's clear voice telling me to teach. The voice was perfectly clear. I knew it not only in my head that teaching was my "calling", but in the very pit of my being.
What is more amazing is that God answered my prayer in directing me to what my purpose was to be in service to him. I was miserable in the job I had before, and I longed to have peace. I took off a day to pray and meditate, just spending time with my heavenly Father. I prayed and prayed and prayed and finally, God spoke to me and said, "Be Quiet!"  okay.... I can take a hint.... I just listened.......anxiously........waiting.....

And it happened! God spoke...."I want you to teach!"

I knew immediately  that it was the Lord's guidance. So... I took a huge leap of faith. I quit my job, went back to school, and followed HIM throughout the journey.

The blessings throughout this journey have been phenomenal! Too many to even begin to name, but BLESSED to be sure!

There have been times I have longed to hear that voice SO CLEARLY again in my life, directing my path again..... because I know that when I follow my Saviour's plan for me....


Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Maybe, I just need to "BE QUIET!" for a little while longer............

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Losing Myself....

There is a song that says, "Finding myself at a loss for words, and the funny thing is.... it's okay."

That song has always been one of my favorites, but lately I have ached for the "it's okay" part to be true within my heart...

Who am I? What are my desires? What are my strengths, gifts, talents? What are my interest? What are my dreams????

I forgot the sound of my own laughter.....
             I forgot what things I liked and disliked......
                         I forgot why I was even "here".........


1. no longer possessed or retained.

2. no longer to be found.

3. having gone astray or missed the way; bewildered as to place, direction, etc.

4. not used to good purpose, as opportunities, time, or labor; wasted: a lost advantage.

5. being something that someone has failed to win.

6. ending in or attended with defeat.

7. destroyed or ruined.

8. preoccupied; rapt.

9. distracted; distraught; desperate; hopeless.

Not a very pretty place to be............. is it?

But, my VERSE... you know the verse that keeps me going .............kept pounding in my head ...........and in my heart.....

"For she is clothed with STRENGTH and DIGNITY, and LAUGHS with NO FEAR of the future." Proverbs 31:25

That verse........ Oh, the sweet WORDS from our Heavenly Father! That verse is precious, because when I lost myself, my Lord reminded me of WHO I AM IN HIM!!!

I am STRONG!  I have purpose! I have value!
"I am woman"....okay..... I couldn't resist that one!

But, only..........THROUGH CHRIST!  amen

Monday, July 19, 2010


Trust me...................  ever hear that before?

What is TRUST?

Wikipedia defines trust as:
reliance on another person or entity. Having faith in others and believing them.

Is it that we aren't capable of trusting others? or is it that we don't understand God's idea of TRUST:

Psalm 118:8 (New International Version)

"It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man."

Isaiah 2:22 (New Living Translation)

"Don’t put your trust in mere humans. They are as frail as breath. What good are they?"

Jeremiah 17:5-7 NLT

5 This is what the LORD says: "Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the LORD. 6 He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives. 7 "But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him.

If we put our TRUST in each other (mere humans), then we are not TRUSTING in the one who is the very life and breath of us all.

This is not to say that you can't depend on others for fellowship, help, encouragement, and love, but we aren't asked by God to TRUST man. We are asked to TRUST the ONE TRUE GOD.
Inevitably, people will let you down, we are all human.  God did not say, put all your hopes and dreams in the hands of man. NO, he said TRUST Him.

Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding"

You see, SATAN uses our insecurities, desires, and our thoughts to try to control our lives. He says to us, "You can't trust anyone, Everyone is out to get you, You deserve to be treated better. They are just out to get you!" He will get in your HEAD and have you believing all the lies that HE(Satan) has placed there. Satan succeeds when you begin to believe the lie.......... "I can't TRUST anyone, and sometimes............ that included CHRIST.

When I was saved, I felt an overwhelming sense of LOVE (not TRUST). I wanted to tell everyone that GOD IS LOVE and share this message with everyone. As a teacher, I hear children talk about being saved. They come into the classroom beaming and proudly tell everyone, "Jesus loves me and came into my heart!" How precious!!!

As we grow older, we begin to lose the excitement we felt when Christ first came into our hearts. Why is this? We build up walls, harden our hearts, become cynical.....to protect ourselves from hurt, criticism, rejection.

As we are betrayed by MAN..... Satan begins to speak lies to us (You can't trust them).
We get hurt, we retreat. We open ourselves up again, and get burned again,(Again, Satan says... I knew they were untrustworthy)
so we retreat even more.............until we begin to believe the LIE! (You can't trust anyone)
Result, hardened heart (Yep, just where Satan wanted you..)  We've lost TRUST in MAN perhaps even GOD.

But..... we should have never put our trust in MAN. God is the only one we should ever put our trust in to lead, guide and direct our lives.

Here is what God would have said to your heart....
We get hurt, we retreat (God says, forgive them),
We open ourselves up again, and get burned again, (God says, love them unconditionally, forgive them as I have forgiven you)
Result, GRACE and MERCY towards others. A loving heart.

Haven't we hurt others too? So we must come to face the fact that really, we aren't completely trustworthy either. Why is this? Because until we are fully changed, transformed, which will happen when we are united with OUR SAVIOUR, we are sinners (saved by grace). Only through a right relationship with Christ, can we be transformed into His likeness. But, do not be deceived....

"The thief (Satan) comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I (Christ) came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. John 10:10 (New American Standard Bible)

So, give yourself and your fellow man a break. Instead of focusing on TRUSTING others, try LOVING them instead. If God had wanted us to TRUST man, I believe it would have be somewhere in the bible..... (I can't find it) But over and over GOD instructs us to TRUST HIM and LOVE one another.

Maybe the KEY to TRUST is LOVE?

Friday, July 16, 2010

Supersize Me!

  "God is able to do super-abundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think-infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes or dreams”
Ephesians 3:20-21(Amplified)

How big are your prayers?

Friday, July 9, 2010

Forgiving Others


Matthew 6:15 (New Living Translation)
 But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.

I struggle with forgiveness.....

When someone criticizes me, especially behind my back, it is hard not to feel angry, hurt, and unloved.

Webster Dictionary defines criticism as:
1 : to consider the merits and demerits of and judge accordingly : evaluate

2 : to find fault with : point out the faults of
Thank God, he forgives me for being imperfect .......(human).  THEREFORE, He commands me to forgive those who offend me!

But.... I struggle............. with really forgiving them!

I know the damage that unforgiveness does to relationships.

Proverbs 17:9 (New Living Translation)
 Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.

God will deal with those who offend me.  So, I will rest in that TRUTH.


I am accountable for my own heart and soul..........so......... I do what God commands me to do..........(gulp)


Now..... I am working on forgiving with a cheerful heart.........  That one's gonna take some work.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Be My Guest....

I follow several bloggers. Many have inspired and encouraged me when they haven't even known it. That is why I blog. To share with others that life is a journey. Never dull, never without hardships, but always better with Jesus Christ. I have found that these people share their real lives.... not perfect lives. They also share their FAITH in the one true GOD! So..... with that said........

Here's Debbie Feller!

Hi Robyn! God bless you and thanks for your post on waiting today. Something we all have to do! And, as God so often does, it just so happened to be apart of my post today at If Today We Hear ! Here's the simple poem . . .

Only Temporary

Waiting can pull me apart

or at least stretch me out thin

play games with my mind

until I begin

to think this is it,

there simple isn't more -

then You shout, "Let's move out!

What are you waiting for?"

I'm a believer in Jesus, a wife, a mom of two wonderful daughters and one son-in-law. My youngest daughter has special needs and requires 24/7 care, so that is what I am blessed to do! :) God seems to give me little poems or verses and after a year of writing them down everyday, I thought He wanted me to share them in some way. And so the blog was started!
Thank you, Debbie! Your blog is so encouraging and uplifting! I love the devotional style of your site. God bless you and your ministry as you continue to "do a good thing!" 
Here is the link again to Debbie's website:  IF TODAY WE HEAR

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Just Wait....????

Have you ever waited on something?

A package to arrive in the mail..... anticipation

A friend to be healed.............. hope

A new job..............  uncertainty

Sitting in traffic............. frustration

Someone to help you in a store.................  anger

Arrival of new baby................ joy


Many emotions are connected with that word.

Wait patiently for the Lord.Be brave and courageous.Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.
Psalm 27:14


What are you waiting on?

Monday, June 28, 2010


31 For no one is abandoned
by the Lord forever....
32 Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion
because of the greatness of his unfailing love.
33 For he does not enjoy hurting people
or causing them sorrow. Lamentations 3:31-33

I must confess, I have been in a deep depression.  (see disclaimer at end of post)

I have not felt God's presence, His peace, or His love..........
and I have cried rivers.  The only word I know to describe what I have felt is this....

Defined as: A sense of impending evil or misfortune.

I could not shake it..... If this is SPIRITUAL WARFARE .......... it is like you are dying inside........with NO HOPE in sight! This is HELL on earth!

Now, I love the LORD with all my heart. I am saved and I KNOW IT!
so then what was / is going on with me?

All, I know is this.......

I cried.  I yelled.  I begged. I just didn't feel GOD's peace, love and comfort.

Where are you, Lord?
What is happening to me?

no answer....

I was going to absolutely break.........
my heart ached..........the tears fell.........

Throughout this time, I prayed....a lot.
I searched the Bible and spoke scriptures aloud. I talked to God. And I became very ANGRY!
 I knew that He had allowed me to fall into this PIT of despair.
6. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 1 Peter 1:6-7

This was my prayer......
"Lord God..., FATHER..., my ONLY hope, please don't leave me to MYSELF!
PLEASE rescue me!!!! I am under attack and I am fighting for my life. HELP ME! Send your Angels to surround me and protect me......wrap me in your love. Take this pain from me.

SLOWLY..........a little peace emerged.
(photo taken off back porch...during my devotional time) notice the heart???
I believe the WORD of GOD is alive.
I read the bible everyday, sometimes many times a day and I am able to draw strength from God's Word.
But.... during this time of FOREBODING..... I could not feel a thing.

The only thing I know is that I COULD NOT GIVE UP! I began searching for scriptures that had spoken to me before this time.
I spoke these scriptures out loud. I recalled the verses that I had hid in my heart and said them over and over again.............
"God you said...." insert verses" and so I know this is true."

I thank GOD for the hours of reading and learning the scriptures.

ever so slowly.........
a small calm came over my turbulent heart and soul.
(taken a few days later) see my Angel....


35. So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. 36. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.   Hebrews 10:35-36

1. I waited patiently for the Lord to help me,and he turned to me and heard my cry. 2. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. 3. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord.
Psalms 40:1-3

She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.  Proverbs 31:25

My comfort in my suffering is this:  Your promise preserves my life.  Psalms 119:50

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalms 37:4

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Jeremiah 29:11

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?  Hebrewa 12:7

Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. Hebrews 12:10

So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy. John 16:22

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.  2 Timothy 1:7

Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.  Luke 12:7

And my personal favorite:
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2   

I share these verses because speaking God's word, meditating and reading the Word, I truly believe is the answer! Be confident that GOD will fulfil his plan for you.  I have to KNOW this and believe it!
IS THIS TIME OF FOREBODING OVER? Well....... it is easing....and that is a blessing.
So, why do I share this.................... because I KNOW my SAVIOR is the ONLY HOPE. The only true comforter. The only true love.  If I weren't saved by HIS GRACE.... I don't know that I would ever make it out of THIS.

DISCLAIMER:  (wink, wink)
I KNOW that a sense of graditude and thankfulness (see the verse below) help combat times when we begin to feel  "down on life" but Dear Friend, THIS was not THATBelieve me, I am greatful and thankful for all the blessings in my life. I thank GOD daily, but again, THIS was not THAT.

Proverbs 15:15  (Amp): "All the days of the desponding afflicted are made evil (by anxious thoughts and foreboding), but he who has a glad heart has a continual feast (regardless of circumstances).
see... I even know the verse. :)

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Walk Out.... Walk On...

My name is Gladwell Musau. I am a Kenyan, married to a Pole and a mother of a lovely four year old daughter. Five years ago, I left my native country, Kenya and headed to Poland for my wedding to a wonderful and God-fearing man. Before I left my country, I felt the Lord calling me into the writing ministry. While as a stay-home mum and wife, I began writing down a memoir which in His time I pray will be published and through it many will be encouraged. While I wait, I desire through this blog to reach out to you, the readers in the hope that in some way or another, you may get encouraged, inspired and motivated to trust and love the Lord with all your heart, mind and strength. For me, it is a journey, and I invite you to accompany me along the way. HEAVEN IS OUR DESTINY. GOD BLESS YOU!!!!

This is a guest post from a gifted blogger. I asked permission to post this on my website. I hope it blesses you as it did me.
Here is the link:   Rainbow Gulf of Love


Matthew 14:25-29 During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, WALKING ON the lake. When th disciples saw him WALKING ON the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them. “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” ‘Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, ‘tell me to come to you on the water.” ‘COME,” he said. Then Peter got DOWN OUT of the boat, WALKED ON the water and came towards Jesus.

WALK OUT…means: to leave suddenly without explanation, flounce out, get up and go, storm out; abandon; go on strike etc.

WALK ON...means: move forward, pace up; move your feet along on a solid base etc.

We might be all familiar with the story of Peter walking on the water. But…let us look again from a different perspective. Jesus has just appeared to his disciples in the middle of the night. And oh no…its not what you might want to hear. How I wish…it was in the middle of a good dream to reassure them that he is there for them. But no…it wasn’t. In fact, it was DARK; and yes, it was ALL WATER around; and what more; the WAVES were high and the WIND was against them. Talk about a grim scenario… and you have it right here.

Is Jesus aware of where you are at the moment? My friend…I bet He does!!!

Is Jesus aware of the dangers that surround you at every turn? My friend…I am persuaded He does!!!

Is Jesus indifferent to your journey of life? My friend…I ask you, please read again Matthew 14:25.

…Jesus went out to them….is self-explanatory. Jesus is coming out to you today!

But when he arrives be sure he will ask this of you and me. Just as he asked Peter, he will call you to WALK OUT…of your bruised life and wounded past. He will call you to WALK OUT of your bad habits, addictions and confusions. He will call you to WALK OUT and leave your fears, limitations and inadequacies behind. He will call you to WALK ON...towards him in spite of the storms and the turbulent waters beneath your feet. He will call you to WALK ON…towards him…despite your past failures, disappointments and under achievements. He will call you to WALK ON…towards him…in faith and stay fully focused on his ability to calm the storms and command the wind against you.

Jesus is saying to you and me today…get down OUT OF THE BOAT, and WALK ON the water and come to me! Why? Because:

His eyes….are FOREVER SEEING!


His hands…are FOREVER WIDE OPEN!

His heart…is FOREVER LOVING!

Dear beloved children….Come!WALK OUT….WALK ON!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

I'm a Starbucks girl on a Folgers Budget

I love specialty coffee. I love the white chocolate mocha latte, the Carmel macchiato, frappiccinos, and all the other yummy assortments.
But, alas................ the cost is just too much for my "dollar menu" budget.

As a special treat, my family gets me a gift card to the local coffee house (Beans and Cream :-).  The other day I was reading a book and using an older Birthday card as a bookmark. I decided to read the card again, and to my surprise, there was a Gift Certificate to the coffee house still in it!!!!

I felt like I hit the jackpot! I was elated. I have held on to the card for two weeks now, waiting for that special morning, or evening when I really can savor my coffee. 

But, what if I wait and wait and wait................... and hold onto the card   ..... idolatry.......

Can a cup of coffee become an idol?

What is idolatry?

 immoderate attachment or devotion to something

"Therefore, my dear friends, flee from idolatry."
1 Corn. 10:14

Now, I am not suggesting that holding onto this gift card is going to send me to eternal damnation, but are there other things I hang onto?

 By holding onto the card, I am actually missing out on the "treat" intended by my loved ones???
 What if I used it? Would that mean I would never have my delicious specialty coffee ever again? Probably not! You know, If I actually used it, then my family would have a reason to "treat" me again.

Does God have special treats just waiting for us, but we haven't enjoyed the ones He has given us?

So, I need to let go and enjoy the treat, remember the giver, and Thank God for the special treat that means so much.