Saturday, October 8, 2011

Mental Breakdown

It happens to the best of us. I've    been there. On the verge of a total loss of your sanity. There are no words, no way to describe it.
I have awaken feeling like I'm having a heart attack. Shaking uncontrollably. Begging for the pain to just STOP.  I have dug my fingers into my own flesh to feel something other than the overwhelming feeling of pain.
Depression, panic attacks, anxiety are all very real feelings, experiences that plague a greater number of people than we can even imagine.
I would beg God for relief. Take me home. Release me.....
I have heard many people, even those within the church say horrific things about people having a mental breakdown. Lord help them that they never experience a time in their life when life here on this earth just becomes to much to bear.
Jesus knew that our journey here on earth would be filled with such pain and that is why grace, mercy and love is poured out on man from our Heavenly Father.
No matter what your circumstances, no matter the turmoil within, know this.... You are not alone.
Going through an unbelievable pain in my life, thinking I could handle anything if I would just pray harder, believe and have stronger faith, is impossible. I don't have that strength. With medication and the support of those who knew what I was going through, I came out on the other side.... But, I had support. I had tremendous support. And I had Christ.  It took weeks for the shaking to stop. It months for the anxiety to subside. It took time. It took prayer.
Those who know me casually would be shocked, because as one lady told me, "you got it all together.."  Little did she know.
I'm writing today for two reasons. I want to share my story so others will not feel alone, because love, many walk this journey with you. And second, I want others to know.... There IS another side... Even when you can't see it or even believe you will ever reach it.
Hang on... Have hope, let those who love you help you, and let Christ carry you....i know you are so tired...know he has the strength...
An old lady once told me years ago.... "Honey, everyone has issues..."
You are not alone.
Jeremiah 29:11 New American Standard Bible (NASB)
For I know the plans that I  have for have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.