Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Just Wait....????

Have you ever waited on something?

A package to arrive in the mail..... anticipation

A friend to be healed.............. hope

A new job..............  uncertainty

Sitting in traffic............. frustration

Someone to help you in a store.................  anger

Arrival of new baby................ joy


Many emotions are connected with that word.

Wait patiently for the Lord.Be brave and courageous.Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.
Psalm 27:14


What are you waiting on?

Monday, June 28, 2010


31 For no one is abandoned
by the Lord forever....
32 Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion
because of the greatness of his unfailing love.
33 For he does not enjoy hurting people
or causing them sorrow. Lamentations 3:31-33

I must confess, I have been in a deep depression.  (see disclaimer at end of post)

I have not felt God's presence, His peace, or His love..........
and I have cried rivers.  The only word I know to describe what I have felt is this....

Defined as: A sense of impending evil or misfortune.

I could not shake it..... If this is SPIRITUAL WARFARE .......... it is like you are dying inside........with NO HOPE in sight! This is HELL on earth!

Now, I love the LORD with all my heart. I am saved and I KNOW IT!
so then what was / is going on with me?

All, I know is this.......

I cried.  I yelled.  I begged. I just didn't feel GOD's peace, love and comfort.

Where are you, Lord?
What is happening to me?

no answer....

I was going to absolutely break.........
my heart ached..........the tears fell.........

Throughout this time, I prayed....a lot.
I searched the Bible and spoke scriptures aloud. I talked to God. And I became very ANGRY!
 I knew that He had allowed me to fall into this PIT of despair.
6. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 1 Peter 1:6-7

This was my prayer......
"Lord God..., FATHER..., my ONLY hope, please don't leave me to MYSELF!
PLEASE rescue me!!!! I am under attack and I am fighting for my life. HELP ME! Send your Angels to surround me and protect me......wrap me in your love. Take this pain from me.

SLOWLY..........a little peace emerged.
(photo taken off back porch...during my devotional time) notice the heart???
I believe the WORD of GOD is alive.
I read the bible everyday, sometimes many times a day and I am able to draw strength from God's Word.
But.... during this time of FOREBODING..... I could not feel a thing.

The only thing I know is that I COULD NOT GIVE UP! I began searching for scriptures that had spoken to me before this time.
I spoke these scriptures out loud. I recalled the verses that I had hid in my heart and said them over and over again.............
"God you said...." insert verses" and so I know this is true."

I thank GOD for the hours of reading and learning the scriptures.

ever so slowly.........
a small calm came over my turbulent heart and soul.
(taken a few days later) see my Angel....


35. So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. 36. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.   Hebrews 10:35-36

1. I waited patiently for the Lord to help me,and he turned to me and heard my cry. 2. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. 3. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord.
Psalms 40:1-3

She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.  Proverbs 31:25

My comfort in my suffering is this:  Your promise preserves my life.  Psalms 119:50

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalms 37:4

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Jeremiah 29:11

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?  Hebrewa 12:7

Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. Hebrews 12:10

So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy. John 16:22

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.  2 Timothy 1:7

Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.  Luke 12:7

And my personal favorite:
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2   

I share these verses because speaking God's word, meditating and reading the Word, I truly believe is the answer! Be confident that GOD will fulfil his plan for you.  I have to KNOW this and believe it!
IS THIS TIME OF FOREBODING OVER? Well....... it is easing....and that is a blessing.
So, why do I share this.................... because I KNOW my SAVIOR is the ONLY HOPE. The only true comforter. The only true love.  If I weren't saved by HIS GRACE.... I don't know that I would ever make it out of THIS.

DISCLAIMER:  (wink, wink)
I KNOW that a sense of graditude and thankfulness (see the verse below) help combat times when we begin to feel  "down on life" but Dear Friend, THIS was not THATBelieve me, I am greatful and thankful for all the blessings in my life. I thank GOD daily, but again, THIS was not THAT.

Proverbs 15:15  (Amp): "All the days of the desponding afflicted are made evil (by anxious thoughts and foreboding), but he who has a glad heart has a continual feast (regardless of circumstances).
see... I even know the verse. :)

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Walk Out.... Walk On...

My name is Gladwell Musau. I am a Kenyan, married to a Pole and a mother of a lovely four year old daughter. Five years ago, I left my native country, Kenya and headed to Poland for my wedding to a wonderful and God-fearing man. Before I left my country, I felt the Lord calling me into the writing ministry. While as a stay-home mum and wife, I began writing down a memoir which in His time I pray will be published and through it many will be encouraged. While I wait, I desire through this blog to reach out to you, the readers in the hope that in some way or another, you may get encouraged, inspired and motivated to trust and love the Lord with all your heart, mind and strength. For me, it is a journey, and I invite you to accompany me along the way. HEAVEN IS OUR DESTINY. GOD BLESS YOU!!!!

This is a guest post from a gifted blogger. I asked permission to post this on my website. I hope it blesses you as it did me.
Here is the link:   Rainbow Gulf of Love


Matthew 14:25-29 During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, WALKING ON the lake. When th disciples saw him WALKING ON the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them. “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” ‘Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, ‘tell me to come to you on the water.” ‘COME,” he said. Then Peter got DOWN OUT of the boat, WALKED ON the water and came towards Jesus.

WALK OUT…means: to leave suddenly without explanation, flounce out, get up and go, storm out; abandon; go on strike etc.

WALK ON...means: move forward, pace up; move your feet along on a solid base etc.

We might be all familiar with the story of Peter walking on the water. But…let us look again from a different perspective. Jesus has just appeared to his disciples in the middle of the night. And oh no…its not what you might want to hear. How I wish…it was in the middle of a good dream to reassure them that he is there for them. But no…it wasn’t. In fact, it was DARK; and yes, it was ALL WATER around; and what more; the WAVES were high and the WIND was against them. Talk about a grim scenario… and you have it right here.

Is Jesus aware of where you are at the moment? My friend…I bet He does!!!

Is Jesus aware of the dangers that surround you at every turn? My friend…I am persuaded He does!!!

Is Jesus indifferent to your journey of life? My friend…I ask you, please read again Matthew 14:25.

…Jesus went out to them….is self-explanatory. Jesus is coming out to you today!

But when he arrives be sure he will ask this of you and me. Just as he asked Peter, he will call you to WALK OUT…of your bruised life and wounded past. He will call you to WALK OUT of your bad habits, addictions and confusions. He will call you to WALK OUT and leave your fears, limitations and inadequacies behind. He will call you to WALK ON...towards him in spite of the storms and the turbulent waters beneath your feet. He will call you to WALK ON…towards him…despite your past failures, disappointments and under achievements. He will call you to WALK ON…towards him…in faith and stay fully focused on his ability to calm the storms and command the wind against you.

Jesus is saying to you and me today…get down OUT OF THE BOAT, and WALK ON the water and come to me! Why? Because:

His eyes….are FOREVER SEEING!


His hands…are FOREVER WIDE OPEN!

His heart…is FOREVER LOVING!

Dear beloved children….Come!WALK OUT….WALK ON!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

I'm a Starbucks girl on a Folgers Budget

I love specialty coffee. I love the white chocolate mocha latte, the Carmel macchiato, frappiccinos, and all the other yummy assortments.
But, alas................ the cost is just too much for my "dollar menu" budget.

As a special treat, my family gets me a gift card to the local coffee house (Beans and Cream :-).  The other day I was reading a book and using an older Birthday card as a bookmark. I decided to read the card again, and to my surprise, there was a Gift Certificate to the coffee house still in it!!!!

I felt like I hit the jackpot! I was elated. I have held on to the card for two weeks now, waiting for that special morning, or evening when I really can savor my coffee. 

But, what if I wait and wait and wait................... and hold onto the card   ..... idolatry.......

Can a cup of coffee become an idol?

What is idolatry?

 immoderate attachment or devotion to something

"Therefore, my dear friends, flee from idolatry."
1 Corn. 10:14

Now, I am not suggesting that holding onto this gift card is going to send me to eternal damnation, but are there other things I hang onto?

 By holding onto the card, I am actually missing out on the "treat" intended by my loved ones???
 What if I used it? Would that mean I would never have my delicious specialty coffee ever again? Probably not! You know, If I actually used it, then my family would have a reason to "treat" me again.

Does God have special treats just waiting for us, but we haven't enjoyed the ones He has given us?

So, I need to let go and enjoy the treat, remember the giver, and Thank God for the special treat that means so much.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Making Chicken Salad is an Act of Love

The art of making great chicken salad begins by boiling (which also includes watching the pot to make sure it doesn't overflow), deboning the chicken, cutting up the chicken and mixing in the ingredients. From start to finish this is a 3 hour job for 3 or so cups of chicken salad.

So why the bother? Well, chicken salad is refreshing. It makes a lot. But most important, my husband really likes it.

I grew up watching my mom making chicken salad and chicken pastry for my dad. It was a time consuming process, but the end result was so scrumptious. We all reaped the benefits from his favorite meal. Now, I did not make pastry today to accompany the chicken salad, but I did refrigerate the bold, rich broth so that I could make it another day.

Why did my mom make a meal for my dad that took a half a day? From the time we sat at the table to the end of the meal (approx. 20-30 mins.) all her hard work was over. We were extremely satisfied (fully tummy), but her work was not done. There were the dishes and the clean up.

The answer centers around one word,

My dad would anticipate the meal all day, sometimes days prior. He would come in the kitchen and watch over the process. What we called, "watching the pot." As I watched my dad sit down and take his first bite, a smile would form in the corners of his mouth.

I loved watching the whole, chicken pastry-ckicken salad day as a child. My mom taught me a more valuable lesson than how to make this meal. She taught me that giving is much more rewarding than getting. You see, as much as my dad enjoyed the meal, my mom was rewarded in other than tangible ways. She gave, therefore she was blessed.

You know the saying.."do unto others, as you would have them do unto you"....
Well, let's take it a step further.... Do unto God. (period) This was my mother's mantra. She does for my dad, for her church, for me.... because God is first and foremost in her daily walk.

As I was walking up and down the grocery store isles, I was trying to figure out what to fix for my family to eat. And then it hit me, "Chicken Salad"  I hope that as I grow in servitude to Christ, I think of others more than myself, as unto God, not man. The recipe is simple, the process is long, but the blessings are in the doing.

Here is the recipe for "Great Chicken Salad by Nana"

From the grocery store, select a large chicken
Wash the chicken, inside and out (that is important....there is another story about leaning in the insides to come later....LOL)
Put the chicken in the pot and cover with water 3 or so inches above the chicken
Add salt and celery (large cut-up chunks) to the pot
Boil......................for a very long time.
( I can tell it is ready when the legs pull away from the chicken with a fork.)
Watch the pot (make sure it is not boiling mode)
Remove chicken from the pot when it is done
Let the chicken cool
When the chicken is cool, tear all the meat away from the bone and cut up into dice size pieces.
Add Mayonaise, salt (to taste) and Sweet Pickles (I use homemade from my Granny's recipe)
Optional: Add fresh celery, cut into small pieces

After the rich broth is cooled, pour into a pitcher and store in refrigerator for later use (Chicken Pastry) or Dumplings if you are from the south!

Sunday, June 13, 2010


Sunlight shimmering off the water,
Soothing breeze blows,
His presence is near,
Truth, honest,
Time, healing,

Friday, June 11, 2010


A tundra at night, vast,
Swirling around, anticipation,
A raven's most precious stone held in it's beak,
A cry beyond, moaning,
Forever darkness,
Shadows, time,
No wind, no sound,

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Analyze This...

This morning I read the book of Ecclesiasties. I was so blessed with a verse. This verse was what I needed, at the exact time I needed it!
Ecclesiastes 8:1
How wonderful to be wise,

to analyze and interpret things.

Wisdom lights up a person’s face,

softening its harshness.

I am what I would call a... deep thinker. I ponder. I dwell. I analyze.

I have had some say that I should stop trying to analyze everything, and really.......those comments hurt my fellings.

But being the pleaser I am.....
I prayed. "Lord, I need to stop analyzing everything.... I need to depend on you. Just go with the flow.... yada yada yada......."  But really I was still hurt by these words.... I have to CHANGE?......because others saw this character trait in me as a bad thing????

But this was WHO I AM. Didn't God make me? Was I not created with the personality HE loved.

I know this.............  GOD LOVES ME............ so why do I always feel as though I am having to CHANGE to accomodate what OTHERS want me to be?

When I began to think about changing who I am............... Was it for myself? Was it for others? Why did I feel this need to CHANGE?

Praying about this, God revealed what change He wanted to see happen in my life. It was not for anyone else, but for myself....................for my growth................ in my walk with Christ.
Romans 12:2

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

My favorite translation of this verse if from the Amplified Bible:

2Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].

You know.... reading this verse in Ecclesiates this morning, I was reassurred AGAIN by God's word (truth) that God make me, just like He wanted me to be. I have quirks. I have characteristics that may not mesh with everyone, but those who love me will accept me for WHO I AM, not what they can change me into.

God loves me. Yep.              
He has changed me by renewing my spirit, giving me hope, filling me with His love and breathing a fresh new life into me. So, if I ponder, dwell, or analyze..... it has been at becoming the person IN CHRIST that God has wanted me to be. It has been therefore, A GOOD THING!

Saturday, June 5, 2010

A true Jewel

My grandmother's name was Jewel. She taught me by example. My earliest memories of her are at Christmas. We lived 700 plus miles away. No matter what time we arrived..... and most the time it was around 2:00 am, she would meet us at the door. The little Charlie Brown Christmas tree glowing on the window. She had our need ready, coffee ready for her and my mom.
My granny' was tiny... probably 800 sq. Feet, but it seemed HUGE to me. There was a swing, not on a swingset but in an old tree on the side of her house.

She would make biscuits in a pan of flour.....slowly adding lard and.milk.... hand shaping each one as she placed.them on a cast
iron skillet. They were the best biscuits I have ever had. Mostly because they were made with love. My granny never ran me out of the kitchen.... she would pull up a stool for me to sit on. I'd watch, laugh, and share her thoughts and memories with me.
She gave me the greatest gift one person could ever give to another, attention. I had hours of undivided attention.....
Jewel gave of herself and her time to her friends, family and her church. She worked in the church nursery, taught Sunday School and GAs and was involved in anything that had to do with missions.
She taught me how to crochet..... she made many things for shut-ins that were crocheted.
She always tithed, she never worried about her needs, she knew the Lord would provide all she needed.

She read her bible all the time. She read bible stories to me. She let me help her when we would visit, teach Sunday School with her. She lead by example. Always.
She didn't have an easy childhood. She was disabled, from childhood Polio. She only had use of one arm. She never complained. She saw the blessings God bestowed on her. As the oldest of eight siblings, she became their "mother", and they called her, Mama Jewel.

As the years passed, she moved on with us. I grew up with her living with our family, in the same house as my parents. She never drove a car. But on 1997 she went to night school
and got her GED. She was a doer.

She lived life to the fullest, in service to others. Serving her Lord faithfully. Joyfully. Willingly.
This past week, my Granny went to be with the one she loved the moat. Our Savior. Reunited with her family, her daughter, her parents... and tons of friends. As much as it hurts to loss her, I rejoice in the fact that our parting is temporary. We will be together again, in Glory. She wouldn't want us to mourn her passing, but celebrate her homecoming.

I could only hope to be half the woman she was. I am blessed to have been her only granddaughter, her Robbie, her friend.